2007 wrap-up... 2008 is on its way!

Well, team, here is my last blog for 2007. In fact, in just a few short hours, it will be midnight in New Zealand, heralding the start of 2008. Midnight will sweep its way around the world and about 22 time zones later we will welcome in the New Year here in Alaska, one of the last places in the world to do so. So, for me, I still have one great day left to take one last stab at 2007. I thought that I would start it off by recapping some of the events of my 2007.

I saw in the new year of 2007 in Sitka, Alaska, a small town in Alaska's south-east, where I'd just arrived to only a few days earlier. I came here to support my partner Brian in his work career as a dental therapist, and I came to Alaska with goals of settling in, pursuing work, and opening a new chapter of my life. In the early stages of my time in Alaska I was awestruck by the amazing beauty of the place. It is somewhere that many people have heard of, but I suppose you can't imagine what it is really like until you get here. It's not called "The Last Frontier" for nothing. Sometimes, in Alaska, you feel like you are just about as far away from the rest of the world as you can be. Here in Sitka we are surrounded by mountains, rainforests and islands. It is a seaside community, so a lot of people depend on the water and fishing. At the same time, it is a place that is rich in culture and tradition. It is home to Alaska's Native Tlingit Indians, and their heritage. It is also the former capital of Russian America. The Russian Orthodox Cathedral takes pride of place in the centre of the town, and there is a great deal of history here from the time when Russia governed Alaska until 140 years ago.

Despite the beauty and heritage of the place, I was in for a culture shock. After the newness of Sitka and Alaska faded, I realised that I needed to adapt to a different way of life. In fact, I kind of felt that I had been hit with the double-whammy: I had a good dose of Alaskan culture-shock, topped off with an even bigger dose of American culture-shock! My Alaska culture-shock was due to the small-town nature of Sitka: along with a close-knit community comes vices such as gossiping. I also notice that things happen at a slower pace here, too. But at times, this would be a saving grace -- it is nice and refreshing to be absent from a lifestyle of pressure and city-style hustle and bustle. Sadly, in a small town (only 8000 people, in Sitka's case) many social problems are magnified: alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, etc. Of course, all of these problems do happen everywhere in the world, except that these problems can largely go unnoticed in places with larger population bases (especially big cities). However, in a small community like this one, not much is secret, and these social problems lie pretty close to the surface. In fact, it is something that confuses me still and that I struggle with alot, especially the rampant drug abuse.
The bigger dose of culture-shock came from the greater mass of the United States of America. The USA has a very unique and indeed a very strong culture, and everything is done the American way. In fact, it is something that is strongly ingrained in the people themselves so much so that you don't ask why they do things the way they do, they just do it that way. And you just have to learn to do it the same way, too! The American Way. In fact, people probably don't even know why they don things that way, except that it has always been done that way, and this is the way it always will be done. There are a lot of things that are different about America. Things that are not wrong, but they are different. And sometimes, they are so extremely different. And I think that is the one thing that baffles so many travellers to the US: we are countries who are quite close, politically, and we are only an ocean away, and we even speak the same language -- but really, we couldn't be more different. The difference it what gives the US a certain richness to be discovered: it has some amazing places to visit, and awesome foods to try, and some of the most hospitable and friendly people in the world.
The flip-side is that some American ways of thinking are so indoctrinated, that it can be quite frustrating. Americans take so much pride in America that it reaches extreme points where anything that is not American is not important. And Americans believe so strongly in The American Way that they get quite offended if you challenge or question why they do things the way they do. As a result, I have learnt to select my words wisely, and chosen which conversations are worth having (and which topics I should probably never discuss). I guess I can understand why it is like this: many Americans have not had a lot of exposure to many other countries or cultures. Older Americans grew up at a time where people went from school straight into the workforce, and then they rarely took a holiday from work. It was only at retirement time that perhaps they got that once-in-a-lifetime trip overseas. Now, the baby boomer generation is travelling more, and the grey-brigade of retirees is travelling the world. Younger Americans, too, seem to be getting out there and travelling. However, many young people are still directed into college or work straight after school. Additionally, given that the US is such a big country, the news here is very US-centric, so the public doesn't hear a lot of news on international events, and this sometimes adds to the lack of knowledge of the rest of the world. I guess I can summarise this sentiment in a statement that a lady made recently: I told her that I had arrived from New Zealand and "was getting used to everything" and she looked at me and said, "It can't be that different!"
There were times when I likened the US to communist China. Five years ago, I saw how the Chinese blindly believed in all things Chinese and couldn't be shaken on their beliefs, no matter how flawed these beliefs may be. A lot of Americans believe things blindly and refuse to be challenged on them, and this is further exacerbated by concepts such as freedom of press and freedom of speech. ("We have free press in the US, so what we hear on TV must be true.") Really, it was a point of frustration for me, yet it proved to be a big personal learning curve of mine, as I came to understand how this great USA machine ticked.
I must, at this point say that in contrast, I have also met some Americans who do have a diverse knowledge not only of their own country, but also of the rest of the world, too. And I have also met Americans who are prepared to discuss opinions and share differences of opinions, too. There are a number of Americans who are discerning people. And even moreso many Americans like to take the opportunity to talk to a tourist or a foreigner to expand their own knowledge. I've definitely met a lot of strangers who have been curious to learn more about Australia and New Zealand. Despite all of this, I do believe that the Americans are indeed very friendly and welcoming and warm people.

My job prospects here in Alaska started with a hiss and a roar, and quickly fizzled out. I came over with some good internet contacts that I had previously established. However, when prospective employers were faced with the burden of the visa paperwork, job offers quickly evaporated. In two cases the visa paperwork was started, but never made it to fruition, and then the immigration department issued a cut-off which effectively ended my prospects for 2007. I wasn't sure what to do next, when I had a chance encounter with the owner of McDonald's in the supermarket. We opened discussions and made plans for me to come and work at McDonald's on a management trainee programme, which would effectively continue on from where I had left off at McDonald's in New Zealand. This was the most promising that things had been, work-wise for a long time, so I decided to grab it. Things progressed and I was advised to go back to Australia, and, all things going well, I should obtain my visa there.

So, I used my return ticket and at the end of May I headed back to New Zealand and had a good catch up with friends in Dunedin. It was great to see everyone again, and it also helped me to tie up those last few loose ends from my life in New Zealand. I knew that when I packed up and moved to Alaska, I had (for now at least) left New Zealand for good. I wasn't sure how to bide my time while I waited for my visa, but my Dad talked me into going over to Australia and driving a truck for him on his scrap-metal business. It sounded good, and it was only going to be for a few weeks. I headed over to Australia, in time for my Mum's birthday on 2 June.

It was a good time to be in Australia, because I was able to spend time with my family, and see my sister Sue and her husband Simon before they headed to Canada to take up a new posting in Toronto. I felt lucky to have a family member close by in Canada (even though Sue is on the other side of the continent).

My required interviews for my visa went really well, and I was just waiting with bated breath for when the visa would come through. However, I was to find out after some time that my application was stopped in its tracks and wouldn't be processed. There had been some rule changes and some new deadlines imposed. The agency we were working with dropped my application like a hot potato because of the new requirements (even though I believe I could have fulfilled them easily). Furthermore, I am led to believe that McDonald's in the US did not accurately or sufficiently complete its portion of the required paperwork -- I feel like they left me hanging.

What was I to do next? Where to go from here? I was confused and frustrated. All of the best-laid plans, all the preparation, had come to nothing. And here I was in Australia, far away from Brian, and I only wanted to be with him. The situation was depressing. I thought and thought, and Brian and I came up with a few ideas, but finally we decided that I would stay in Australia and keep working for my Dad, driving a truck. He in turn promised to be pretty generous in giving me time off to jet over to Alaska for holidays and visits. And with that, I took up my new profession as a truck driver-cum-scrap metal collector.

In June I went to the Gold Coast to celebrate my sister Patricia's 30th birthday. It was a really fun weekend, and a good time with Trish as she marked the milestone in her life. A week later I headed to Sydney to support the Aussie netballers in their world cup preparation as they took to the court in a match against Jamaica. It was great being there with the atmosphere, and Australia won the match quite easily.

I slaved my guts out for my Dad for the next few months and come August I was impatient to get back to Alaska. Brian and I had made all of our plans to be together, so it was tough being apart. I missed him terribly in Australia. I was constantly writing letters to him... and the end of August couldn't come soon enough. I arrived back in Alaska just a few days before Brian's birthday at the end of August. Everyone said, "Welcome home," when I got back. And you know, it felt good to hear that because I did want to make Sitka my home.

It was coming toward the end of summer when I arrived, so I was able to enjoy some nice long days, and warm weather. I even went swimming: something that was a bit crazy, but a lot of fun. And it was something that I never imagined I would do in Alaska.

Very quickly, though, the novelty of being in Alaska wore off. As I had already spent a good deal of time in Alaska earlier in the year (five months) I had already come to know the place, so there wasn't the thrill of discovering everything. Very quickly the "small town" stuff (drugs and gossip) surfaced. Summer was ending and the town was starting to shut down. There wasn't much for me to do. Brian was stressed out at work, and this was compounded further at home with random fucking strays sleeping on the couch. All I wanted to do was sleep all the time. And apart from that, all I really wanted to do was spend time with Brian. But he was always stressed out and grumpy and he wasn't any fun to be around. And then in the middle of this, our flatmates decided they are moving out, and so, we in turn decided we would move into our own place too. Even though this presented an opportunity for us to have our own place and our own space and more time for just us, the process of moving and finding a new place was stressful too. So the shine of Alaska has well and truly faded, and cracks are starting to appear! I wasn't having fun, I didn't like being here, all I wanted to do was sleep, our living situation was up in the air and everyday when Brian got home from work he was like a caged bear with a sore paw! I was growing to hate Sitka more and more and I realised how terribly lonely I was. I didn't have many friends, and I missed having friends. I missed my friends from New Zealand, too. And it was hard to turn the acquaintances I had made into friendships because, while I'm just hanging around in Alaska, everyone else has work and other commitments to attend to. I was frustrated and confused. And I noticed very strongly how, when you are in a stressful situation, it is easy to take out your stresses on the one you love the most. Brian definitely copped a lot of my stress and frustrations, and I in turn copped a hell of a lot of his stress and frustration (oh, and I did I mention stress????) I was confused!! I didn't understand why everything was happening the way it was. It wasn't meant to be this difficult. I was meant to get a visa and move to Alaska and then everything would have been all right. So, why wasn't it all working out. I vented a lot of the blame and frustration on Sitka itself. I just hated Sitka, just because I could, I suppose. If Brian didn't have a stupid contract to fulfill in this godforsaken shithole of a town, then we wouldn't have to be here and we wouldn't be in this mess and everything would just be all right.
One morning when walking Brian to work I realised that I had only two weeks left in Sitka before I was due to return to Australia to do more work with my Dad. Although I didn't want to focus on that fact, it is amazing how much just the thought that I would be getting the hell out of this place in the near future could lift my spirit. I pined for some sense of normalcy. Some routine. Something that gave me some purpose: like work, for instance. I was hanging around in Alaska doing nothing. And really, although I don't want to admit it, Brian and I probably desperately needed a break from each other. I wanted to kill him. And I'm sure he wanted to kill me, too.

I reflect on what I have written, and I smile. I can see the lighter side of it. You see, when you team up with someone, you do it for the good times and the bad. You are together through thick and thin. And you know, this was just one of the challenges which Brian and I were meant to face. Even through the tough time, I am forever thankful that we are good communicators. We can talk to each other. And we are each other's best friend. And we are here to help each other out. And in the midst of all the shit, we were there for each other. I love being able to cook dinner for Brian every night, so he can at least chill out a bit when he gets home from work. And he always lets me sleep in on the weekend (and some of the weekdays, too). And he takes care of the little things, the stuff that I usually forget. So, even though things didn't "turn out" the way they were meant to... I have realised that when it comes to relationships and the game of life, there is no such thing as everything "turning out"... You just hit the ground running and you do your best, and sometimes you are lucky to have someone to share the journey with. I know that I am blessed to be on a great and exciting and remarkable journey with Brian. And our challenges have made us stronger.

October 18 saw the celebration of Alaska Day. It also marked two years since Brian and I started dating. It was a cool day. The town came alive with people dressed up in all sorts of old garb, and there was a parade through the street, and food at the Russian Orthodox Church and all sorts of fun. And apparently Sitka is one of the few places (if the only) place in Alaska to celebrate Alaska day in such style! Our day was spent taking in the festivities, but also helping out serving soup for an organisation that Brian and I have become involved in here: Brave Heart Volunteers. This is a group of people who visit the elderly and do little jobs, and give that little bit of extra care to those who are house-bound, or need a bit of extra help. It is a great organisation, one that we both support and believe in strongly. And you know, on the flip-side of all my whingeing above, Brave Heart just shows what a little close-knit community can do, and the amount of goodwill that does exist in a place like this.

I left Sitka a few days later, and stopped in San Francisco en route to Australia. In San Francisco I caught up with Amy and Paul Armstrong from New Zealand who had come over to visit Amy's family in Minnesota. Amy and Paul are two people whom I love dearly, and I was so happy to be able to spend time with them. It was great to hear about their adventures up in Minnesota, and for me, it was great to receive a booster injection of good old friends and fun. Our days were spent taking in the new Cathedral of St. Mary's, the Mission Delores, a ride on the cable car, the Golden Gate Bridge, the crookedest street, a little back-alley Chinese restaurant, plus a good handful of local cafes and little tucked away spots away from all the tourists. San Francisco was also a good time for some personal growth, and to share some of the challenges with friends. One thing that Amy and Paul and I came up against was the amount of homeless people and beggars that live in San Francisco. Speaking from my own experience, sadly, my heart had been hardened to their plight. Yet, here in San Francisco, Amy and Paul and I were really challenged to see Christ in our brothers and sisters who are poor and destitute and living on the streets. It's what we are called to do as Christians, but when it comes down to actually doing it, it is a tough call! These people on the streets, really, are people just like us. And when they are so eager to help us with our map, or which bus to catch, why should it be so difficult for us to help out in return? It shouldn't be! How hard is it to give up two bucks to someone who might really need it? Sounds pretty easy -- but try doing it! It can be bloody tough. And that was the challenge that was thrown down to Amy and Paul and me in San Francisco. Help our brothers and sisters in need. I know it definitely challenged some of my stubborn ways of thinking... And I saw that even something little like a bread roll or $1 was enough to make someone's day. We are so lucky to have what we do have. It's up to us to cherish it and be responsible for it, and when called to do so, to share it around. That's Love.

Before getting back to Australia I had a stop in Singapore. There I caught up with an old uni friend, Shigetada, who now works at Republic Polytechnic in Singapore. I also coincided with Holiday and Simon from New Zealand who were passing through coming back from a conference in Beijing.

........... OK... I will write more about my year soon... It's really late at night and I'm really tired... Will write more soon.....